thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
