She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize