Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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