Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
