So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
