I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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