so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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