I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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