Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
