Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
