I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
