i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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