so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
