you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
