Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
