You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
