My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
