I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
