So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
