you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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