You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
