ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
