can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
