Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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