Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize