I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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