Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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