I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize