No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
where are my eyebrows?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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