Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
