no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
