she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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