We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
