Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
