i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
