My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
