I wish I could punch you in the face.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
is it fun? or sober?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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