My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
