soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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