You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
