that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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