Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
