it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
