So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
