i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
