You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
