I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
