I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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