Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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