real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
