playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
