Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
