I'm going to jail i love you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize