i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
