using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
