we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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