Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
