two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
