Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
